The Futile
by katilara
Summary: Yellow fandom. TakixGoh. Pieces of a puzzle, written for 1sentence on LJ.


**Fandom:** Yellow  
**Pairing:** Taki/Goh  
**Theme Set:** Epsilon  
**Rating:** R, for sex  
**A/N:** Written for **1sentence** and betaed by the fearless **marilla82**! This fandom is so tiny, but it definitely needs more love. :)

* * *

**#01 - Motion -** "The fag of all fags, huh," Taki mumbled around his cigarette as if it didn't matter in the slightest; but as he shook out the match he was careful not to flip his wrist too delicately, lest he gave off the wrong impression. 

**#02 - Cool -** _He's just so damn cool_, is the excuse that every lover who ever met Taki gave to Goh, whether by words of greeting, words of parting, or words of ecstasy; they were afraid of Taki and the hold he had over Goh, and if he was true to himself, so was Goh.

**#03 - Young -** Taki hadn't been prepared for Mizuki's love and how he felt he was drowning in it; and Taki may still have been too young and love still felt like drowning, but he would just have to practice holding his breath longer, because he was going to be ready this time.

**#04 - Last -** Taki slumped against the door to his room and tried to get the shaking in his arms and legs under control; Goh's proximity undid him, his presence lit something inside of him, and Taki vowed for the millionth time and he wouldn't let his partner get that close to him again.

**#05 - Wrong -** In Taki's dream his mother pulled him into her lap and pointed at two men standing on the street corner with their arms around each other and whispered as loudly as propriety would allow that it was sinful and disgusting for men to touch each other that way, and when he woke in the cold sweat that dreams of memories always left him with he rolled over and buried himself deeper into the heat that was Goh's body, hoping to burn the sin away.

**#06 - Gentle -** Women loved Taki and Taki loved women; and even the ones who found out he was a snatcher and held him hostage touched him with soft hands and spoke to him with cruel but soothing words, and through every interaction he couldn't help but feel that in the identity of women there was something very important missing.

**#07 - One -** Living with Taki kept Goh riled up, so he went from boy to boy looking for the penultimate lay, the one who would become more than a means for ejaculation, and he was disappointed over and over again as none of them could match up to the perfection he couldn't catch.

**#08 - Thousand -** Goh laid in the dark and counted his breaths until he reached a thousand, and when he was certain that he wasn't getting to sleep any time soon he crawled out of bed and stumbled into the living room where Taki was waiting with cigarettes and gin.

**#09 - King -** Goh didn't know why it was so hard for Taki to understand that their apartment was a castle of men and by default there should be no women on the premises, and that as the king of that castle, Goh should rightfully own everything inside.

**#10 - Learn -** "You'll have a lot to learn," the man said as he slid a slip of paper with the name Café Roost scrawled on it across the sticky counter to Taki, "it's nothing like slinging booze for these drunks," for which Taki was silently grateful.

**#11 - Blur -** He was sure he'd broken something and his vision was starting to dim, but his hearing was perfect, and if Taki loved him - _loved him?_ - he was fine with never being able to see anything again.

**#12 - Wait -** Goh looked at Taki over the pile of apples _('I want you all over me')_, and Taki raised an eyebrow in return _('we're in public, you idiot')_; Goh had been (im)patient before, he could wait.

**#13 - Change -** Goh could see the gears shift in Taki's head whenever there was a woman present, his voice became softer, his speech smoother, and Goh resented that Taki didn't feel like there was any extra effort needed to communicate with him.

**#14 - Command -** Taki perched tensely on the bottom step and inhaled too hard on his cigarette which meant his was worried about the job - Taki was never worried about jobs; "Do we really have to do everything Tsunuga asks of us," he said quietly.

**#15 - Hold -** Goh wrapped his arms around Taki's waist in a death grip and had just enough time to breathe in the smell of Taki's hair before he was flipped over Taki's shoulder onto the floor; and if the only way to hold Taki was to risk fractures, he was ok with that.

**#16 - Need -** Goh bunched the material of Taki's shirt in his fingers and jerked Taki forward so that his nose was buried in Taki's chest; he growled, "My whole goddamned body aches, and I can't live with you."

**#17 - Vision –** When Taki entered the kitchen Goh was shirtless and making breakfast for his bunny boy, there were scratch marks down his back and Taki couldn't control his imagination as, in his mind, he was who had put them there.

**#18 - Attention -** Goh laid out on the couch and stretched his arms over his head so that his skin stretched over his stomach muscles and there wasn't any room left for Taki to sit and not touch him; Taki shook his head and silently admitted to himself that Goh didn't have to try so hard, because he was already looking.

**#19 - Soul -** Goh never thought about God or Buddha, and only ever imagined demons when he was particularly fucked up on some drug he shouldn't have filched from a stash, but whenever he came home to find Taki sleeping peacefully on the couch, he believed fully in souls and their counterparts.

**#20 - Picture -** He had found the picture in Taki's room and ferreted it away in a pair of socks that were too small, and it soon became soft and worn by his fingers working over the cheeks and hair of a younger, happier Taki.

**#21 - Fool -** Taki blushed and pulled away from Goh's trembling hands, steeling himself and telling himself that he wouldn't let his body react that way, play him like _that_.

**#22 - Mad -** The first time Taki pulled a gun on Goh, they had been living together for three slow months, two sultry weeks, fifteen interminable hours, thirty seven agonizing minutes, and twenty four painfully erect seconds; Goh was certain he was losing his mind.

**#23 - Child -** His whole body was shaking as he stood over the cocaine and sobbed into Goh's shoulder, wetting the shirt with tears and snot, but Goh just wrapped an arm around his back and whispered what he hoped were soothing words, because he didn't think Taki had had anyone to do this for him when he was growing up.

**#24 - Now -** Goh's back hit the couch cushions hard as Taki fell on top of him mouth to mouth, and he smiled into Taki's lips as he thought about how glad he was that apparently once you got Taki turned on, it was impossible to find the off switch.

**#25 - Shadow -** Darkness fell over Goh's closed eyes as Taki leaned over where Goh lay sprawled out on the grass and placed a gentle kiss –out of his own volition - on Goh's lips, and Goh had never enjoyed darkness and pain so much.

**#26 - Goodbye -** Goh rolled over in his empty bed and looked down at the earring he had tossed onto the floor in a fit of frustration, and felt emptier than he had ever felt in his life.

**#27 - Hide –** Goh leaned heavily against Taki in the supply closet and breathed down his neck, because if they were going to get caught while on a job they might as well make it worth it.

**#28 – Fortune –** They drank their first beers together in companionable silence, each one glad that the other, in being exactly the opposite of what he wanted, was just what he had been looking for.

**#29 – Safe -** Goh had his ear pressed up against the cool metal door, and his fingers worked nimbly at the dial with his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration, and Taki, who was supposed to be keeping watch, closed his eyes and tried to imagine that look being directed at him.

**#30 – Ghost –** Taki didn't believe in ghosts, didn't have to; his own memories were far more frightening haunts than any unknown apparition could ever be.

**#31 – Book –** Taki was asleep on the couch with the book he had been studying draped over his face, and Goh leaned down quietly and kissed the spine right where the bridge of Taki's nose would be.

**#32 – Eye –** Taki was gone, but Goh wasn't alone; even though he couldn't see Katsuro, he could feel eyes on his back every moment of every day as they drove him forward, closer and closer to getting Taki back.

**#33 – Never –** Taki shuddered and moaned into Goh's mouth as Goh slipped his fingers into the waist band of Taki's jeans, and Taki pushed weakly at Goh's shoulders, the words _'no'_ and _'never'_ dying on his lips.

**#34 - Sing -** Goh had been raised by performers of all types and would sing absentmindedly as he cooked or shaved or studied for a case, and Taki would bitch about the racket, but would smile to himself when Goh wasn't looking and hum a bit of complimenting Beethoven as he walked away.

**#35 – Sudden –** It came out of nowhere, the knock on his door, and Taki kissed him and looked more lost than Goh had ever seen anyone look in his life; and as Goh pushed him away it occurred to him that maybe this was what love was.

**#36 - Stop -** Taki was used to living under yellow lights, used to the flash and the warning, so when he leaned into Goh and the light in the back of his head flipped quickly to red he couldn't help but laugh a little into the side of Goh's neck, where he was placing his lips, and be glad that he was desensitized to danger.

**#37 – Time –** Goh calmly put his boots on and then went to Taki's door and kicked it as hard as he could several times, trying to drown out the sound of the girl's moans with some racket of his own; it would take forever to get that sound out of his head and the smell of perfume out of the apartment.

**#38 – Wash –** Goh sat on top of the laundry mat dryer and pulled his knees into his chest, watching Taki slowly and precisely fold his clothing as if remembering how to do it, and silently thanked the universe for these quiet times too.

**#39 – Torn –** It was just a piece of cloth that Katsuro had dropped, old and ratty and worn thin from touch, and in that second Goh didn't understand why neither Taki or Tsunuga would look at him, or how two people who hadn't known each other before could be commonly repelled by such a specific thing.

**#40 – History –** Taki looked up from the journal at Goh, who just blushed and mumbled, "Well, you always liked books, history and stuff, and I figure that this could be for all that good history you've yet to have."

**#41 – Power –** Goh had never felt rage like this before, never actually seen red; but they had almost touched him, had almost _fucked_ him, and as the feeling surged through him and the man went flying through the air he realized that it wasn't because he wouldn't have forgiven them, it was because he wouldn't have forgiven himself.

**#42 – Bother –** Taki wanted to throw up all over Mizuki's expensive new shoes; he had loved him as a big brother, and now he didn't know who he – she – was anymore, but it didn't make that love any less strong, or feel any more appropriate.

**#43 – God –** Taki breathed the syllable slowly into his pillow as Goh pushed into him chuckled, "I'm sure he'll be pleased that this is what brings out your devotion."

**#44 – Wall –** Goh tripped over his own feet and pitched head first into the bushes below, and Taki stood on the ledge above him, laughing until Goh stood up and yanked on Taki's ankle, bringing Taki down to join him.

**#45 - Naked –** She was bent at the waist with her foot propped up on the sink top and - wait, was that _his_ razor - all Goh could think about were Taki's fingers sliding up those legs, and his own legs began to shake even before she screamed and threw the can of shaving cream at his head.

**#46 – Drive –** At first Taki was just annoyed with the endless stream of boys, and then it became oppressive in the way that Goh was always in his personal space and begging to use his body, but now, though it was somewhat freeing, Goh's sex drive was still a nuisance, as it hardly afforded him time to accomplish anything else.

**#47 - Harm –** Goh hadn't tried to grope, kiss or fondle Taki in three days and Taki began to worry as Goh's smile slowly grew wider, because it meant that Goh was planning something, and Taki was sure he didn't want to find out what it was.

**#48 – Precious –** Taki had fallen asleep, but Goh couldn't truly rest with passion still pulsing slowly through his veins and keeping him awake as he lay wrapped around the most important person in the world with no resistance for the first time.

**#49 – Hunger –** "You, you bastard," Goh stuttered as Taki placed his last french fry between his lips and let it dangle there, eyes narrowed, which Goh took as a direct challenge and jumped across the table to steal it back with his tongue.

**#50 – Believe –** Goh placed the barrel of the gun to his temple and took a step forward hoping – no, knowing – that Taki wouldn't do anything to make him keep his word.


End file.
